


Spit Your Heart Out

by threedices



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura/Lotor Get Married, Angst with a Happy Ending, Concerned Allura (Voltron), Established Allura/Lotor (Voltron), F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Kolivan & Krolia Friendship, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Canon Compliant, Original Character Death(s), POV Multiple, Pining Lotor (Voltron), Post-Canon Fix-It, Supportive Krolia (Voltron), Wedding Planning, minor mention of Thace and Ulaz survivng, pining kolivan (voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23121886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threedices/pseuds/threedices
Summary: The royal couple is getting married. Kolivan is supposed to help plan the security of the event, not fall in love with them.When one of his former Blades turns back up and wants revenge, Kolivan is sure he will die.Still planning their wedding, Allura and Lotor send Keith and Krolia after him.Kolivan, unprepared to actually survive, prepares to die from the two sorts flowers growing in his lungs.Meanwhile, Lotor is catching feelings, spitting blood and hoping Allura won't desert him for falling for someone else before their wedding.(Spoiler: she won't.)
Relationships: Allura/Kolivan/Lotor (Voltron), Kolivan & Krolia (Voltron)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16
Collections: VLD Hanahaki Bang





	Spit Your Heart Out

**Author's Note:**

> I had the ship nearly from the beginning, but the plot has been going to some changes.  
> The fight scenes were not cooperating, so I had to get creative in writing around them.  
> Originally there was a bit more violent loss of limbs and dismemberment on Krolia's part, so, I think it works out to keep the fic acessible.  
> Ulaz and Thace are traumatised but alive, because I can.
> 
> The art by PunkInGlitter is [here](https://twitter.com/PunkInGlitter/status/1238929392664866817?s=20) . With many thanks to them for picking up the pinchhit and doing such an amazing job. They went really above and beyond. <3

Kolivan arrives earlier to a meeting with the royal couple one day.

Just a few dobosh, nothing more. 

When they come in together, both still smiling, their arms and gazes linked.

Kolivan can feel his gaze soften, if only for a heartbeat. 

There is still beauty in this world, even after the war. 

It's in that moment that the emperor looks up, smile still on his lips and catches Kolivan's eye. 

Kolivan feels his breath stutter and stop in his chest.  
In that moment he knows he would die for them, and no matter what they asked, he would do it. 

Something must show in his face, and it makes Emperor Lotor blink awkwardly..  
Kolivan can’t read his face and the emperor quickly composes himself afterwards.  
He never says anything to Kolivan that day and Princess Allura does not seem to have noticed.

If Lotor has to pinpoint the exact moment he considers Kolivan as more than an ally, he would pick the day they talked about methods to avoid assassination through the remnants of the Fires of Purification.

Allura and him had been running late, held up by their respective duties. The commanders and New Altea wanted his input and the paladins and the coalition members needed hers.

Meeting with Kolivan was a necessary but actually far more pleasant duty.

He was constructive and considerate and did not make unnecessary or unachievable demands.

What was more, they clearly wanted the same thing: a stable and reformed empire.

Lotor could not say the same thing of everyone he dealt with on a daily basis.

Maybe that feeling of being understood and not found wanting was the first seed.

Lotor coughs a few quintants later, while speaking with one of the more stubborn commanders about reparations and the necessities thereof.

The meeting has been long and exhausting and Lotor had to talk a lot yet managed to gain only minimal ground.

He puts it out of his mind immediately. A slightly sore throat is nothing to tell Allura about.

The wedding is a mutual decision after a few too many complaints or snide remarks about their relationship and how they might influence each other.

It’s an indignant Allura who says, “If we were married, they would not be putting up such a fuss.”

Lotor laughs, coughs, and says, “What would you have us do? Marry because they are stubborn?”

Allura looks at him and her eyes are clear and beautiful like nebulae. “No, that for that.”

Lotor feels a slight sting and begins to rationalise, of course she wouldn’t, he is no one’s first choice, after all, when Allura takes his hand.

“I would marry you for yourself and out of my own volition. No one makes me chose who I love.”

Lotor knows he should be better composed, but his eyes burn and his throat closes on any words he could say.

Allura’s eyes change shade into sadness. “Oh, Lotor.”

He falls gratefully into her arms.

He feels her next question shiver through his bones.

“Is that a yes?”

It is.

Allura grows weary of repeating herself.  
When she hears a quiet cough behind her, she assumes it is someone come to dissuade her once again, claiming to know better than herself.  
For her own safety or against Lotor’s character, the reasons are all silly and threadbare.

“Yes, I will marry him. No, I was not coerced into it.”

“I would never assume such a thing.”

She turns, trying to muster a smile. “Of course not, Kolivan, you have been nothing but helpful. It’s everyone else.”

Allura is exhausted of arguing and the wedding isn’t even fully planned, yet.

“You lead Voltron and pilot one of its Lions. How can they doubt your competence?”

It’s calming to see someone so convinced of her qualities as a leader.  
Lotor fully believes in her and sometimes he can even break the rules his upbringing taught him enough to rely on her, but otherwise, even Coran thinks her too young and too inexperienced.

“No one else seems to think ending a war makes me qualified to marry who I want.”

Kolivan nods. “As a leader, you have to grapple with inner and outer doubts.” 

He understands.

Allura smiles and feels lighter already She asks him about his Blades and for once in the last few days, she does not have to grit her teeth to get through a conversation.

Kolivan knew his past mistakes would one day come back to haunt him,.

Yuvak’s old code in his recent messages is both a harsh reminder and completely unexpected.

He should be dead.

Kolivan sent him to his death, however unintentional.

They were four on that mission and lost him two members that day and the other, Daol, unable to cope with the loss of their partners, a mission later.

Maybe Kolivan should have waited for Yuvak, should have gone back to search for Naya along with him, but… 

Time was of the essence and back then, they always had too few resources, no matter what.

Kolivan sighs and thinks.

The next coughing fit comes and it feels like an omen.

Maybe this is meant to be his death.  
He cannot let Yuvak endanger anyone else and the Choking Flowers are already growing.

He hasn’t told anyone, only tried to quietly split Blade responsibilities with Antok, who healed well with the help of the princess, and some outside work with Krolia.

Thace could maybe one day take over his old post as commander, now under Emperor Lotor, but for now he needs recovery and rest more.

The same can be said for Ulaz, who they had just recently retrieved from the pocket dimension he sent himself to.

They are all vulnerable, as is Keith in his youth.

If Yuvak decides revenge is better accomplished through hurting someone Kolivan cares about… 

The thought make Kolivan violently ill.

Worse even than the blood he keeps spitting or the flowers that crawl up his throat.

The only duty he still takes care of personally is talking to Princess Allura and Emperor Lotor.  
It would by now be easier to catch him in their company than out of it, when not on the base.

He doesn’t want to imagine what would happen if Yuvak tried to get him there, how the princess and the emperor might suffer for it.

Kolivan feels cold.

He smells fresh blood and notices that his his hands have balled into fists and his claws cut into his flesh.

He can’t let that happen.  
So he packs.

Allura tries to contact the base to ask Kolivan about a possible groom present for Lotor, but she reaches only Antok.

The sting of disappointment is as surprising as it is immediate.

“Could you ask him if he has a moment?” Allura tells herself that it is only natural.  
Kolivan knows Lotor and knows more about Galra culture than she does.

A chill runs down her spine when Antok can neither find nor reach Kolivan.

“I will send Krolia,” Allura tells him.

She hurries to find Lotor, irrationally worried he might be gone, too.

Her fears make her feel silly, when she finds Lotor.  
He just has finished a meeting and listens to her worries with a calmness she envies him for.

“Sending Krolia is a good plan. Allura, look at me.”

She almost startles when he takes her hands, gentle and careful. 

“It will be all right.” His smile is reassuring.

Allura returns it and tries to relax, but the worry stays.

Krolia looks grim when they send her off with Keith and Kosmo.

“To have Kolivan lured out of base…” She shakes her head.

“Please find him.” Allura knows Lotor is thinking the same thing when his hand squeezes her own.

They do find him, on a small Asteroid, after following the coordinates.  
Kolivan is bloody, bruised and shaking with aftershocks, but Yuvak is already a corpse on the floor when Keith unties Kolivan’s bonds.

They share Kolivan’s weight between them and Keith watches him while Krolia flies them back.

“Bury him.” Kolivan is barely clinging to consciousness, but insistent.

Krolia bites her tongue. “All right.” 

They pile stones over Yuvak’s dead body in a crude form of respect. 

They leave his ship behind to be taken back to base later.

When they return and she sees him, Allura shakes with worry and fury. “Who did this?”

“A former Blade. He’s dead.” Krolia looks tired and leaves it at that.

It’s hard to watch and brings back old, unwelcome memories for Lotor.

This is what they have been fighting to prevent from happening again.

Allura, strong and righteous in her anger, takes control of his healers and goes with them to help save Kolivan.  
He is not in immediate danger to die, but his wounds are severe.

Lotor worries and waits.

Eventually his duties draw him away, but he always returns when he has the time and the freedom to do so.

Krolia and Keith are a steady constant as well, keeping watch at Kolivan’s door and hoping for news.

When Allura stumbles out of the healing room, Lotor is fortunate to catch her.

“He will live.”

Lotor sags in relief and smiles at her.

Allura is sparing him an exhausted half smile and turns to Keith and Krolia. “if you could watch him. I am sure he will prefer someone he knows nearby when he wakes.”

She leans heavily on Lotor when they leave.

“He will need to rest. There were some things I could not heal.” Allura bites her lips but says no more.  
It is not her place to speak of the damage she found in Kolivan’s lungs.  
As soon as he wakes she will urge him to take action.  
He cannot die so soon, not when they still need him.

Lotor nods, his own thoughts seemingly far away.

Allura wants to be able to free him of all of his worries, but she can’t do any more than be there.  
His memories are long and permanently edged into his mind.

All she can hope is that she is enough.

“You did well, I am sure Kolivan will appreciate it once he wakes up.” Lotor’s smile is shaky, but there.

He is kind that he tries to lift her up when he is himself so troubled.

Allura leans over and kisses him.

“What was that for?”

“Because you are good and kind and I love you.”

She giggles at his shocked face.

Allura goes to collect Lotor for a late lunch, after finishing her own meeting.

He is alone in his meeting room, all others having already left.

She watches him fondly for a while, until a violent cough shakes his body.

She makes to step forward at the same time that he turns around.

Allura freezes.

His eyes are wide and there is blood on his hand, along with a few crushed petals.

“Allura…” 

Allura feels far removed. This is unreal.

Blood and petals, blood and petals.

That can only mean one thing.  
He has the same affliction as Kolivan.  
It would be ironic if it didn’t scare her so much.

She struggles with tears. Hasn’t she lost enough already?

Lotor tries to say something, but coughs again and catches himself on the table’s edge. 

It’s enough to make Allura come back to herself. She rushes forward to catch him.

Lotor’s eyes are tear-filled, his words rough and cut off.  
“Allura, I would never--” 

Allura shushes him. “I know.” 

She holds him through another cough and worries.

Kolivan wakes to cramps and the taste of blood in his mouth.

Krolia is beside his bed, watching him.

Keith is curled up in another cot nearby, fast asleep.

“What were you thinking?” Krolia whispers harshly. Her eyes shine.

“Should I have let him come here and destroy everything?” Kolivan keeps the Choking Flowers in his lungs out of it. No need to worry her further.

“We were worried about you.”

Kolivan winces.

“It was unavoidable.”

“Would you have really died for an old mistake? No one else held your decisions against you.”

Kolivan huffs. “It cost us three people.” 

“That was different and you know it. Daol made their own choices.”

Choices Daol wouldn’t have made if they hadn’t lost their partners.  
Kolivan doesn’t need to say it, they both know.

He tries to banish the thought of the emperor and the princes, but the words form before he can stop himself.  
“What about the wedding? Has someone taken my part or…”

Krolia shakes her head. “They wouldn’t hear of it. The princess discovered you were gone and they sent us after you. Emperor Lotor had the room prepared and Princess Allura helped heal you. They were worried, too.”

Kolivan sighs. 

The flowers constrict in his lungs and throat and he asks Krolia to go and get him water to distract her.

He shuffles to the bathroom and barely makes it before his legs give out. 

After relieving himself he vomits flower petals, bruised and broken because they crowd in his lungs into the sink and tries to remove the traces of blood.

When he returns to his room, it is Princess Allura who awaits him, not Krolia.

She smiles and Kolivan can see lines of worry around her eyes. She holds herself stiffly and her hands hold each other in a white knuckled grip in her lap.

When his legs give out for the second time, the princess moves quickly and catches him.

“This should not become a usual thing, my friend,” she murmurs from far too near to his side.

Kolivan is too distracted by her warmth and the smell of her hair to answer at first.  
“Princess?”

“Oh, it’s, it’s just. Lotor, he--” Tears gather in her eyes, making them glitter.

Keith wakes yawning beside Kolivan’s bed and blinks when he sees them. “Kolivan, is everything all right?”

He moves so quickly to wakefulness, Kolivan would be proud, if the situation wasn’t so embarrassing.

“I stumbled, that is all.” 

Keith looks to the Princess for confirmation. 

She helps Kolivan settle, avoiding Keith’s gaze, a small smile on her face. “It’s fine, Keith.”

Krolia comes back with his water, then, and the princess excuses herself. 

“I should go see how Lotor is doing.”

“Is something wrong? Allura?” 

The princess shakes her head, avoiding Keith’s eyes. “We, we will figure it out. Somehow.”

Kolivan thinks she sounds too desperate to be sure.  
It makes something ice cold settle in his bones.  
If the emperor dies… 

Kolivan swallows hard.

“Please give Emperor Lotor my best regards.” 

Princess Allura’s smile is sweet and grateful and it haunts Kolivan deep into the night.

The next day, Emperor Lotor is moved into the bed beside Kolivan’s and the princess sit between their beds, looking ashen and harried.

Kolivan goes to take a walk with Krolia, as much as he can, to give them some privacy.

“I can take a step back, if that is what you, what you need.” Allura feels the tears clog her throat but pushes them down ruthlessly. 

This is about his life, not her feelings.

“It is Kolivan, isn’t it? He-- Just ask him. I’m sure he will be willing to…” 

“How can you do that?” Lotor doesn’t sound angry, only agonized.

Allura breathes and tastes salt. “You should live. How I feel about this should not stop you. Please, if it is him, you have to tell him, for both your sakes.”

“Allura? Is there something you know about him?” Lotor is far too clever to not notice her small slip.

Allura swallows and decides to throw caution to the wind.

“He, he has the same…” 

There is a knock at the door and they both look up when Krolia and Kolivan enter.

Allura knows she must look close to tears and when she chances a glance towards Lotor he does not look any less distressed.

It has to be Kolivan, it has to be.

“Krolia, if you would leave us alone?” Allura stands and takes hold of one of Kolivan’s arms.

Krolia, Starts bless her, looks once at each of them and then briskly nods and makes to leave.

“Good luck.”

Allura leads him to his bed, praying for a happy resolution.

Kolivan knows it was a bad idea to lean on Krolia the moment they leave the hall of his room. 

“You are an idiot, you know.”

“Hm.” He concentrates on not falling over instead.

“The emperor and the princess make a good match, don’t they?”

The words are out of his mind as soon as he thinks them. “Of course.”

Krolia sighs beside him. “Would you have told me?”

Kolivan carefully contemplates which of the things he has not been telling her she could mean. He settles on: “maybe.”

Krolia makes a displeased sound. They walk in silence fora while.

“I talked to Coran a bit. He mentioned that he is sorry the princess can’t have a true Altean marriage.” Krolia looks at him, waiting.

“I see.” Kolivan doesn’t. Maybe there was some ritual that could only be observed on Altea or something else that is long gone with the destruction of the planet.

Krolia must read his lack of understanding on his face, because she sighs again. “Altean marriages are usually done in threes.”

Kolivan blinks.

“You know, like Daol, Yuvak and Naya were? A triad?” Krolia says fake casually.

“Oh.”

Kolivan feels kind of light headed and asks Krolia to turn back soon after.

He thinks he sees her smirk out of the corner of his eye, but he decides to ignores this.  
There are other matters to consider.

The room is silent and decidedly awkward, after Krolia has left.

Allura coughs and Lotor looks at her hand in breathless horror. 

If she, too, has acquired a case of Choking Flowers…

But her hands are clean and free of even a speck of blood.

He entertains the thought that Choking Flowers might not be something that happens to Alteans, but then, he has them.

Kolivan sits awkwardly in his bed, trying to avoid looking at either of them and deep in thought.

Lotor feels the vines crawl up his throat.  
No matter how he tries, he cannot suppress the cough that follows.

Allura hovers at his side, without daring to touch him.

Through his own blurred sight, he thinks he can make out her terrified and heartbroken face.

When the cough has subsided, there are bloody petals in his hand.  
The same ones as usual.  
Blue and orange Sword and Shield Flowers.

In the other bed, Kolivan opens his mouth to speak before being overtaken by a coughing fit himself.

He coughs and coughs, a deeply disturbing hacking sound, and spits out broken white pink Stargazer Flowers and small crushed petals that Lotor recognises as Flag Flowers in dark blue and purple.

It’s clear that Kolivan is far further along than Lotor in his affliction and suddenly Allura’s words make a terrible kind of sense.  
If she thought they held feelings for each other and she was the only thing in the way…

Lotor reaches for her, wordless because he has no words to express what he feels for her right now.

She takes his hand and squeezes it, her eyes beautiful but sad, before turning to Kolivan. 

“I cannot heal the Choking Flowers disease, but I can, can offer to remove myself,” Princess Allura says.

Kolivan feels her hand close around his own.

He swallows blood and flowers to try and force out an answer.  
“I would never ask that of you.” His voice sounds rough to his own ears.

“Kolivan, you are dying.” Her tone is stronger than before, harder with determination. “I will not let that happen.”

She looks at the emperor, swallowing hard. “Not to either of you.”

The emperor looks at her as if she is the Goddess personified and Kolivan can’t fault him for it

“Allura, please don’t--“ The rest the words are bitten off by a cough. This time, the emperor only,spits blood.

The princess looks like she would rather throw herself into an exploding sun than watch him, but she doesn’t look away.  
“I should leave.” Her words are hushed and full of pain.

It’s clear she doesn’t want to let him go and that the emperor feels the same way.

And the wedding…

Kolivan takes a sharp breath when he remembers.

“Princess? Krolia said your advisor told her something about a, a true Altean marriage and…”

The princess stares at him and Kolivan wants to look away but can’t.

Her gaze turns inward and she looks back at Emperor Lotor, where their hands are still joined.  
Where she holds Kolivan’s hand in a firm grip.

“Allura?” The emperor’s voice is softer and smaller than Kolivan has ever heard it.

Princess Allura takes a deep breath. Her eyes are wide with realisation and something like happiness or hope.-  
She laughs softly.

“Of course, an Altean marriage.” Her smile still curls her lips when she explains.  
“Altean marriages are built on a stable foundation. Two is now a stable number, Lotor. Three is. Or five, but that is not a concern. We, we could marry, all three of us and it would be a traditional ´marriage in the old Altean ways.”

Princess Allura smiles, first at the emperor, then at Kolivan.

“And if this doesn’t work, if we are not..” Kolivan gestures between them, embarrassed.

Princess Allura’s turns thoughtful. “I don’t think that there is anyone else,” she says, carefully.

Emperor Lotor reaches for Kolivan’s hand and smiles at them both. “There isn’t.”

The wedding is a wonder.  
Coran never thought he would ever see the day his princess would get to say the traditional Altean pledges and have them echoed twice.

The Galra have such a peculiar view on wedding and marriage, lest of all matrimony.  
Only two parents.  
He shakes his head fondly in memory of the Queen showing him the newborn Allura for the first time and how happy they all were.

Audibly sniffling into his handkerchief, he watches how his little girl, all grown up now, how sad! how amazing! turns to the wedding guest and raises her hands, bound in traditional Galra way, with red strings, and smiles in a way that must make her cheeks ache.

Coran doesn’t think he has ever cried so much for such a happy occasion in a long time.


End file.
